Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
