I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
