Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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