i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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