What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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