oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
