it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
