So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
