they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize