she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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