I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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