this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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