so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
