All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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