You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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