Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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