If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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