it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
