so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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