Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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