the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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