I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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