Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
