what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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