i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You dont lie about slip and slides
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
