Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize