Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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