We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
