There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
