Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
