Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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