did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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