Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
