i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
