He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
