the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have post one night stand depression
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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