dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
