would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
