He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
