...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i think my cat just said my name.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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