Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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