I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
