U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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