it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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