The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
from now on my penis is your penis
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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