We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
