my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
