we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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