she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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