Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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