I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
