So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize