ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
