ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
