Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
