I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
