i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
