i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
