you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
