i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
