she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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