i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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