Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
