If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
