i think i have herpe
just one?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
